Amir Khan: "Canelo knocking me out proves that I can still be knocked out by the best."

    Amir Khan wants the best and he wants them now. "Bring on Pacquiao, Cotto, Mayweather and Garcia. But lets do it now because some of these guys might retire before I get a chance to feel their power."

    The ever confident Khan felt that his legs were too fresh and his guard too high for his loss to Alvarez last Saturday night. "I felt I could of got hit a little sooner if I had just dropped my hands a little earlier in the fight, but I will take that and learn from it."

    The punch was a thunderous right hand that landed as Khan dropped his left hand by his waist. "I had tried to drop the hand earlier but my timing was a little off. Once I got my timing under control I knew it would be just a matter of time before he caught me with a big punch."

    So where does Khan go from here, hopefully to another big payday. "I want to prove that I belong on the canvas against the best before I retire. Many experts say that Mayweather may not have enough power to hurt me, but I believe he does. So lets make it happen soon so I can still remember it."

White middle and lower income males added to endangered species list

    In a move that has been championed by the Obama administration, the United States White Male, specifically low to middle class, has been added to the endangered species list. The World Wildlife Fund said that as of this year the Whitigrious Malelopia or White Male, is ranked #100 on their list right behind the Mo Aardvark or Morbidly Obese Aardvark.

   Obama has set his sites on this since becoming President, saying "we believe that the white man has become a thing of the past, so it is up to us to protect the few we have left."

    The WWF based their ranking on the elimination of the White Male on television, specifically commercials. "It appears that the white male has been fazed out for gay or mixed couples", said Dick Itcherary.

    Democratic front runner Hillary Clinton was quick to add, "we ought to let them be safe and free in society, but only after we have castrated them." When asked if she had anyone in mind she was quick to reply "no comment."

    Black Lives Matter spokesman Nathanial "The Mule" Jenkins said that all lives should matter, as long as they are black or specifically non white.

   The Club Rallying Against Class Kickbacks Eliminating Radical Societies, or CRACKER, has said this day was a long time coming. CRACKER spokesman Whitey Whiteman said, "We have come a long way towards achieving equality and we hope this is the start of a society where we can start getting reparations."

Trump rumored to want Bill Clinton as Vice President

    As if this election year had not been wild enough, rumors have started flying that Donald Trump could pick Bill Clinton to be his running mate in November.

    The rumors started not long after Trump all but clinched the Republican nomination. Of course the big question is would Clinton accept? According to unconfirmed sources it could be a strong possibility. Either way Bill gets to the white House, either as Vice President or First Man.

    The reasoning is nothing but a win-win for Trump. If Clinton accepts he gets more dirt on Hillary and takes away some of her votes, if not, Trump has two targets to go after. Unconfirmed sources said that Bill thinks that the Fox News women are really hot. Meanwhile, the idea of being interviewed by the likes of Rachel Maddow turns his stomach. This could help make Clinton's decision a little easier.

    Bill is also said to be more and more turned off by that hideous jacket / skirt thing Hillary keeps wearing. Even her supporters are comparing it to something from the Kim Jong-un collection.

    Northrup, Curl and Fleet polls show that a Trump-Clinton ticket would win in a landslide. 87% of those surveyed said they just don't find Hillary attractive, while 78% said you know Bill would have some young, hot interns running around the White House. 97% said they have no problem voting for Trump, even with his disparaging comments about Ted Cruz's wife and other women. The people who were polled said that they were pretty sure Trump wouldn't have said that about good looking women.

     Either way, this election year will be one for the record books as Trump versus Clinton or Trump-Clinton versus Clinton will go head to head in November.

*Northrup, Curl and Fleet polls interviewed 1000 white men between the ages of 18 and 50 in local sports bars for their results.